Sales relationships should be the same as other relationships. Meaningful and heart-felt. This very personal post looks at their importance and how to develop them correctly.
Sunday 4th October was the one year anniversary of my Dad passing away, the picture is the both of us, myself looking slightly the worse for wear, at a charity ball* back in April 2019, one of the last times he was feeling mobile.
This last week has been a period of reflection and joyous memories, and I have been pondering how much of an influence he has had on my sales career – largely through osmosis rather than him ever sitting down and teaching me the mythical ways of Sales! So, I thought I’d share…
To give some context, it was only in my adult life that I ever realised Dad’s chosen profession was similar to mine. As a child I knew that he used to visit a lot of companies. He always seemed to bring home goodies (most memorably boxes of broken biscuits or Rice, Raisin & Rye cereal from the Peek Freans biscuit factory in Bermondsey) as his various customers bestowed him with samples or gifts of gratitude. Dad was a Sales Rep for several companies, with a stint at 3M (Austin Tapes) before working for companies mostly specialising in outsourced print. He counted many of the galleries and auction houses in Mayfair as his customers. His job titles varied from organisation to organisation but he was fundamentally always out selling.
Early Lessons on Sales Relationships
When I started my career in Sales in the City in the 1990s, I occasionally met my Dad for lunch. Invariably, he would have someone with him, who nearly always turned out to be a customer. They would sit laughing and sharing stories and rarely ever talk about work. For many of you this may seem normal. However, I suspect for large swathes of the Sales community this may appear alien or pointless, a waste of time when you have quota to achieve. You may not see the benefit or even know how to go about cultivating such relationships.
Let me tell you something though, they are vital for your individual success. Whenever Dad moved company his customers would invariably contact him shortly afterwards. They were invested in him first and foremost. If his customers changed company they’d also contact him from their new places of employment, providing him with new opportunities. This happens to me too, I am a long term loyal employee but my customers they move around an incredible amount! This isn’t because of nice conversation and the developed friendships, it is because of Trust.
Trust is the starting point
It is Trust that allows friendship to blossom. Trust that allows the seller and the buyer to transcend their pre-determined roles and open up to each other. And Trust that ultimately ensures the relationship delivers on the professional requirements of both parties. Typically centred on the solving of the customer’s problem or the delivering of their desired business outcome.
I do get disappointed when I hear businesses down-playing the importance of relationship selling, choosing instead to focus on reducing customers to numbers in a CRM or jumping on the latest sales fad ahead of common sense and conversation. We’re in danger of losing the art of interaction, reducing the Sale to a mere transaction, limiting the benefit and the experience for all involved. We should teach people how to approach a sale as themselves. Ideally with an attitude of help, listening and displaying curiosity, and sharing who they really are.
We should also teach salespeople to see their customers as often as possible. Just to show they care and for no quick return. I occasionally hear nervous salespeople looking for reasons to visit customers – just go because you should. Your relationship with them is the real prize.
This can lead to some surprising places!
For example, I’ve been asked to babysit the children of customers in the past (there’s some real trust). I used to have tea and cake weekly with one of my favourite customers – giving me access to a phenomenal amount of insight. I’ve arranged new jobs and work placements for students from one customer at the corporate premises of another. I’ve been a guest at charity functions, helped out a film production team, been asked to write a sit-com (one of my few regrets is that inexplicably I didn’t act on this – this was almost 20 years ago) and had a lot of fun, colouring my professional life.
However, my main gain has been professional satisfaction and loyal customers. All because I have developed some wonderful relationships with people who trust I will always do the right thing by them. Whenever they need me.
I guess I operate this way because of Dad and (as a wise colleague recently remarked to me) good habits just rub-off from parents to their kids.
These sales relationships are still vital today
It is hard to teach the importance of this lesson in a modern, corporate sales setting. Largely because of fears around compromising Anti-Bribery & Corruption or Compliance legislation. This shouldn’t be a fear. If you are authentic with new business relationships, vulnerable enough to be yourself and focussed on providing help, Trust will be earned as you secure your first deal with a new customer. As a result, the relationship will follow (especially if you show that the initial Sale was not your prime focus, providing long term help was). There is no reason why a healthy business relationship cannot exist alongside strong corporate Ethics.
The obsession with Social Selling in the current Sales world is also a hindrance. Social Selling is a vitally important tool, but just a single tool, and a poor second to real human interaction.
To finish this post, prior to raising a glass of red in his honour, here is a quick list of lessons that I personally attribute to my life-loving, heavy-laughing, truly brilliant Dad.
The Sales Lessons I Have Learned from My Dad:
- Hard work and graft always pay off
- Always go the extra mile
- Live like you’ve already won
- Be yourself
- Treat your customers like your friends, at best they’ll become that, at worst they’ll always see the best of you
- A long term business relationship is better than a quick buck
- Be honest, always (if the buyer is a cynic that’s not your problem)
- Be able to go home at night proud of what you’ve achieved. Personally I always think: “could I happily explain my day to my children? Would they be bored (that would be normal) or horrified (that would be terrible)?”
- No pound of commission is worth compromising your ethics
- Celebrate every success, ideally with your customers
*Incidentally the charity was The Aiden Goodwin Foundation, an amazing charity run by our friends Terry & Michelle Goodwin, with the goal of providing much needed holidays to families with children who are battling cancer.
